Anya Sizer of the London Women’s Clinic
Anya Sizer of the London
Women’s Clinic offers advice to couples undergoing fertility treatment on how
to use the event to help ease the stress of undergoing assisted reproduction.
Couples with fertility problems can celebrate Valentine’s
Day is nearly upon us again, and the shops are full of oversized bears,
love-hearts sweets and comedy boxer shorts, all designed to show the one you
love just how much you care. As with many other special days in the calendar,
when you are going through fertility treatment, Valentine’s Day can seem like
one more thing to avoid and one more pressure.
Valentine’s Day can be a helpful reminder for couples going through infertility
treatment. A reminder that underneath all the injections, scans, clinic visits,
etc, there is an ‘us’ that can so easily be overlooked.
Stress is inevitable when
undergoing infertility treatment
are often surprised by the toll infertility is taking on their relationship and
wonder if this is normal. What I have
found, both personally and professionally, is that it is almost inevitable that
it will put a strain on even the strongest of relationships. We should expect
fertility treatment to be tough, but we should not lose sight of why we are
doing it in the first place. We must not lose sight of the other person.
Tips to help couples
undergoing assisted reproduction to get through Valentine’s Day
few tips then to help you this Valentine’s Day if fertility treatment seems to
be taking over your life and relationship:
- Try not to expect
too much from each other. You are both going through a tough time and will need
all the support you can get. There may be times when one or both of you finds
it all too much and feels they have nothing left to give. Get the external
support you need, whether from friends, family, a good counsellor, a support
group, or online communities. You don’t need to do this alone.
- Focus on the
aspects of the other person that you love and make it an essential part of
treatment to have fun together. Go and see a mindless film, watch a DVD and
have a glass of wine (it is allowed on special occasions) - anything that lifts
your spirits and brings a smile to your face.
- Ask your partner
what they need right now and how you can best support them. You may well feel
most loved through talking, and they may well feel most loved through being
built up as a person and respect. It is all too easy to assume the other person
will want what you want. They may surprise you.
- Know that,
although this Valentine’s Day may not be ideal and that you may well not be
where you want to be in life, you are moving forwards towards that end goal,
and who knows where you will be this time next year.